The wiener is not a conspiracy.

HOW could you keep your last name if it was WEINER??????   Just read about a "Brett T. Weiner" getting busted for DUI.  I mean... really???  Weiner???  And.. even if "the real weiner " .. hahaha... whatever that is... is spelled "wiener".. it's Still WEENER!  wiener.  What a funny word!  And who can keep a straight face when they ask this dude for his name?  Name please.......  Brett Weiner.  ....I'm sorry but I'd be changin' that shit.  There is ACTUALLY the last name of RAPE too.  Do I even need to comment on that?

So the twinkie will no longer be.  I can imagine the conversation I will one day have with my yet-to-be-born child.  "Yeah.. there was this cupcake once... it was yellow.. had white cream filling and... you could place it on a shelf for 50 years and it would be as fresh as the day you bought it."   Hahaha...  I did enjoy the taste of the twinkie.. although... a few months ago I had one and.. it wasn't good.  Like.. at all.  A sign that the end was near??  Perhaps.  I can't say I'll miss Hostess cupcakes.  Tastycake has them BEAT LIKE A FILTHY DIRTY RUG.  

"Twinkie" reminds me of 9th grade actually.  It's really mean but, hey, I was 14.  I was in Science class in Milwaukee and.. our teacher was large and in charge and had this back room he would frequent during class.  It was like a lab-type-thing.  One time... he came out with some white cream looking stuff on his face.  And.. since he was big my friend and I joked "He must have been back there eating Twinkies."  So...  from that point on... when we'd see him we'd say "Twinkiiiieeesss".  To each other, of course, not him.  Poor guy.  Wonder what he's up to these days.  Wonder how HE feels about the closing of Hostess. . .

Okay so, I feel REALLY strongly about this next idea.  I have a conspiracy theory on the "new" Pepsi logo.. pictured above.  I 100% believe that it is a direct slap in the face to the same people who spend the most money on their product.  It's a tongue-in-cheek, you'll-never-catch-me, haha-you-fuckin-fatties, thank-you-very-much-for-all-your-money stab at the Obese.

Lol!  Looks like I'm not the only one who thinks this!  I just went to google a pic of it to add and...  I found the pic below.

WOW.   I believe this theory to be absolutely true.  I mean really?  Can you REALLY deny the resemblance?  I see nothing else when I look at the logo.

This somehow reminds me of The Little Mermaid/penis in the castle thing.

Happy Friday, ya'll!

WTF?

Amy Lee, Fish, Grand Opening.  Haha... throughout the day random thoughts pop in my head.  Some of them I want to remember because I feel they would make for an interesting blog topic.  So, these 3 things are things I jotted down.. to add to this blog the next time I was here.  And.. here I am. 

Amy Lee
Ugh.  I don't like to be mean, or judgmental, but it's gonna happen.  Right now.  I'm sure this woman may be a lovely woman, but I have NO IDEA how she became famous for her singing.  I mean, I really feel she has an Awful voice.  Yes ANOTHER thing I do. not. get.  I think I should start writing a book.. Things I Do Not Get.  There are Many.  I know she's not real relevant these days, but a few years back her and her band were all the rage.  Evanescence.  Dumb band name too.  Haha.  I'm feeling quite the judge today.  I have plenty of good things to say about people too tho.  OH..... so the point of bringing up Amy Lee is.. I am kind of mad because she sort of ruined a song that I like a lot.  There's this band Seether that.. isn't a great band but.. I like the singer so much that it doesn't really matter.  So, he wrote this song called "Broken".. I love the song.. and the way he sings it.  In fact.. I'm going to youtube it right this moment to listen as I'm tying this..   wait for it.... wait for it....................  There it is!  Seriously, his voice makes me SMILE.  LOVE it.  Shaun Morgan.  A N Y W A Y . . . . .   He dated Amy Lee a few years back and.. he made this horrible decision to re-do "Broken" with her.  So, they have dueling parts.  It's sickening.  Haha... I know.. how dramatic.  But, I hate when there's a song, that's awesome, just the way it is.. then they gotta go change it.. and ruin it.  NO.  Don't do that. 

Here is a video of Shaun Morgan.  He makes me all giggly inside. 

Yep.  Giggly.  And Giggety.  I don't know the guy personally, but from this vantage point I love everything about him.  His passion for music..  His speaking voice... His singing voice..  His hair.  His face.  His lips.  His..   Anyway... let's move on to the next topic..

Fish
Haha..  All I want to say about this is, I don't think people should cook or re-heat fish in an office building.  Like.. AT ALL.  Ever.  It's nasty.. and everyone knows it.  It stinks.  It smells.  Don't bring it in.  If you can't hold back your fish-consumption until you get home, you should probably seek counseling.

Grand Opening
I drive by this business plaza on my way to work.  There is a restaurant there..and for whatever reason.. they decided to have a "grand opening" after like a year.  Okay.. that's cool.  What's NOT cool?  Your Grand Opening Sign.  This thing is about one fourth the size of the name of the restaurant.. AND.. the place sits way back off the road.  If I wasn't sporting some 20/20 fakes eyes, I wouldn't even be able to READ the thing!   ..yet Another WTF moment.    ..I'm surrounded.. and I'm drowning.  I had one of those directed at myself the other day...

I stood in line at Marshall's and.. I had nothing to purchase.  Ever had a moment like that?  The moment you look like a complete moron?  Fun times.

I hate shoes that make a sound when you walk.

OMELETS.

If I had a food blog....

I would mention omelets.  I like them.  A lot.  But I never ordered one in a restaurant, nor would I trust another (non-chef) person to make me one.  It's all about the possibility (and likelihood) of Raw Egg being present.  And.. that's just effing gross.

I like vegetables.  I also like meat.  So far I've only made veggie omelets.  I have no idea how to make an omelet.  Well... I DIDN'T...  I recently discovered some tips.  The following pics are me just.. winging it... before I learned aforementioned T.I.P.S.  

I like taking pictures of my food.  Don't know why, but I'm pretty sure it's the color.  If I have a beige slice of toast in front of me.. I do not have that urge to bust out the lense.  BUT..... if I have THIS in front of me....  oh yes.  It puts a smile on my face.  

Vegetables... 
YUM.  Some are from my garden.. others are not.

Next we have eggs.  Eggs seem to be a somewhat controversial conversation piece.  Some say they are great for you.  Some say they will kill you.  Some say whites only... others say yolks baby, yolks.  I say...  I like them.  I'm just not sure if I should add in milk, like I would with scrambled eggs.  I have since learned some add a splash of milk... some a little water.. others... nothin' but egg.  Here, we have 3 eggs, and a little milk. 

Add your favorite toppings.  Well..  fillings.  Here we have zucchini, 3 shades of bell pepper and my favorite, feta cheese.  

After a while....  you gotta fold that bitch.  I have had some major issues with this.  When you don't know what you're doing, things can get a bit stressful.  but...  this is about my....  6th or 7th attempt.  So it went pretty well.   

Yes it's a little brown but, I'll take brown any day over GOO.  Now since I have more knowledge, they should be getting better looking by the minute.  Gotta add some salt and pepper.  Good stuff.

Pair it up with some grainy toast... perhaps some turkey sausage...  hell.. even a hash brown.. and you've got yourself a damned tasty breakfast.



What's that stack o' bread on the toaster back there?  French toast.  It was pretty good too.

Hey! It's Friday!

Just realized.  Having my own blog is sort of a narcissistic thing.  Isn't it?  Hey... look at me!  Look what I have to say!  I should be able to spray my opinion around...as often as i'd like.  Isn't that like.. the whole G.D. point to this thing?  Haha.  Yes.  Yes it is.  I'm kind of brain-dead at times.  Try to hang in there.

Extremely hyper again today.  Is it any coincidence that this shit always happens on a FRIDAY?  haha.... duh.

On the radio.. this chic called in and had her mother call in as well... and she told her mother that she was in love with her brother.. and they were married.  NOW......... first thing's first.  They are not blood related.  H O W E V E R .....  They met when she was 7 and he was 5.  And.. they were raised together.  Totally brother and sister, regardless of blood.  Right?       ..Right???  But...  They're in love.  Can you really deny LOVE?

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO excited about getting a REAL Christmas tree this year!!!!  I know... I know.... but... we plant trees all the time and... we love and respect Mother Earth. And... we will properly recycle our tree when we're dong (HA!!  DONG!)  When we're uh... DONE worshiping it!    Or.. we'll just give it to YOU, Legolex.  :p

Thankful for:

Vision
Hair
Black Nail Polish
Toaster Strudel
Lips
Cheetos
Fat-cover-ups (Clothing)
Kitty Cats!
Dental Floss
Sunshine
The ability to laugh so hard your stomach is sore and you are CRYING.

Happy Friday!!!   =)  =)

Is it Narcissism?

Oh my.  There are so many things I do not understand.  I feel like I walk around in the most confused state most of the time.  Haha.  I always find myself saying "What the?"  You know what I think it is?  Some specs of Narcissism I have in me.  The thing I HATE and.. want No Part Of.  I fear I suffer from it as well.  Or at least partially.  I'm like.... That's not what EYE do.... or.... Why would you do THAT??  EYE don't do it That Way.  Yeah.  Narcissism.  *sigh*   It's interesting..  how you think you're a certain way, yet you're sort of the complete opposite.  And.. you don't even realize it. 

Like.... this morning.  I walk into the bathroom at work and DAAAMMNNN.  This Concrete Wall of perfume hits me in the face.  I'm thinking.. what the Eff?  I don't know who thinks that's ever a good idea.  It's as if... you haven't bathed in like 2 weeks and you're attempting to cover up your stench.  It's not a good thing.  At all.  Perfume isn't supposed to work that way.  I have always given myself two sprays.  One on the chest, one on the wrist.  And.. if I'm clean.. who cares if it wears off after a couple hours?  I think they do it so THEY can smell it.  Well.. if you spray your shirt.. by your chest.. you should be able to spell it, right?  Oh wait, I bet there is a rule against spraying it on your clothing.   You're supposed to spray it on your Skin, right?  Then you have the "delicate fabrics" to deal with.  The only delicate fabric I own, I bought at the Goodwill and it was "dry clean only" and I threw that bitch in the washer AND the dryer and it's fine.  ......My point?  Is an overload of perfume just nasty?  Or is me feeling that way narcissism?  

Well.. after reading the technical definitions of "narcissism".. I'm not sure if I have that right.

  1.  Inordinate fascination with oneself; excessive self-love; vanity. 

  2.  Erotic gratification derived from admiration of one's own physical or mental attributes, being a normal condition at the infantile level of personality development.  [huh???]

3.	An exceptional interest in or admiration for oneself, esp one's physical appearance.
4.	Sexual satisfaction derived from contemplation of one's own physical or mental endowments.

 

 Okay.. that's just weird.  But y'all know what I mean.  n@ 

 

I absolutely LOVE n.p.r.  National Public Radio.  I find it so damned interesting.

I need some new music in my life.  Not new as in "new" but, new to ME.  I love the music that I currently own/listen to but... I need some refreshments.  Some.. Musical Refreshments.  Right now.. there is a band out there... jamming out..  that I would LOVE...  could be my new favorite band... I'm just simply unaware of their existence.  How sad is that??

I watched part of a REALLY twisted movie last night.  Jack and Diane.  Perhaps I'm just too "suburban" to handle a movie like that... I bet the city folk would be very comfortable with it.  And I thought EYE had a vivid imagination.  

Whoa.

 

 

 

Peace & Love, Mother Bleeper!

SO..  I've been trying to focus on being only positive - in every aspect of my life.  Where I'd normally swear and tense up..... Embrace.   It's OH-KAY..  No need to get all flustered and angry.. just BREATHE.   Relax... everything is aaaa-okay.  One place I find this almost impossible to practice:  Behind the wheel of my vehicle.  Going to work this morning there was a woman driving a black car... leading the PARADE behind her.  I would say probably 99% of the people on the road at that hour are going to work.  And... most of them - like myself - are running behind.  The "speed limit" is 40.  What is she doing?  *sigh*   Like.. 33.  To ME.. this is ABSOLULTEY UNACCEPTABLE.  Haha....  I mean it!  "Speed Limit" doesn't mean that anything below forty is cool.  Especially when there is a parade behind you.  One would think that she would perhappppss take a peek in her rear view mirror.... no?  The rear view mirror was created for one reason and one reason only.  To LOOK AT IT to uh.... see what's going on behind you.  You DO NOT .... DO NOT.....  enter your vehicle and just DRIVE..  without ever looking left, right or behind you.

NEWS ALERT YOU EGOTISTICAL FUCKING FREAKS:  You are not the only human driving a vehicle on this man-made road.  WHY????  And .... HOW did humans get so flippin Self-Centered????

*sigh*    .....Relax k..... breeaaathe....

I will never, ever, ever get this.  This...  driving-the-car-while-never-ever-looking-behind-you.  Or even worse..  Looking.....Seeing... and STILL not getting your ass moving.

NEXT........

My mind was completely blown last night.  I went to dinner with a friend at a local joint that I already felt uneasy about.  The few times I've been there I've left displeased.  The service is not good.  It's all very clique-y and if you're not a regular, you get the bare minimum.  So.. our server was actually pretty good.  The food was great.  I get my bill.. I pay the man and I know I'm due back 2 bucks and some change.  So he comes back and hands me two dollar bills and says thanks, have a good night.  The confusion sets in.  .......I'm thinking... how do I only get 2 bucks even back?  Then I thought, oh, maybe I was due back like $1.97, so he just gave me 2 bucks back.  Uh... Nope!  Guess again!  Dude owed me $2.84 and... for whatever reason he came up with in his twisted head.. he thought he would just go ahead and keep my 84 cents.  This is:

A) Ridiculous
B) Stupid
C) Disrespectful
D) Theft!

Last time I checked, tipping is not an obligation.  Yes, of course I will tip you.. but.. under no circumstances do you just make the decision to KEEP my 84 cents.  I told him I was confused and I wanted to understand.  He said he doesn't really give coins back... that's just the way he does it.    HAHA... niiiiiice.  That's the WAY I do it!  See...  I don't mess around with those Coin Things.... I just give everyone back BILLS... and I just pocket all their coins...  and at the end of the night.. sheeit... I've got like 15 bucks extra!  

Even if I'm gonna end up giving him that $2.84 as a tip... you still don't assume anything and keep someone's money.  You give them the correct change back and you let THEM make that decision.

W.... what do YOU think about this???   

HYPER Smactivity!

What a SLACKER!!!  Really...  I have a lot to say.  It's just that.... sometimes I keep it inside myself or... I just Tell someone my thoughts...  then... I don't really feel that need to put it on here.  K?  K?  Is that okay with all 2 of you?? :)

I feel good.  I feel hyper.  I absolutely love when I feel good.  And hyper.  I feel ALIVE.  And.. that's pretty important, I'd say.   It's kinda strange.. I've been feeling like ...  "a million bucks" these past couple days yet...  I am having some anxiety breaths.  Those of you who do not know what this is...  It's like a sort of tightening of the chestal region....  like... someone is sitting on your chest... but... like a baby.  HAHA...  it's not a real heavy pressure...  just slight.    ............lol........... BABY sitting on your chest.  WTF??   And you feel like you aren't getting the proper amount of oxygen... so... your brain is like... Hey!  Take a deep breath!  So..... you do.  And then...  you feel as if you have not taken a breath.  At All.  Yeah, it sucks.  I hate it.  I go thru spells of this...  I know it's caused by anxiety (which I have a major issue with) but what I find interesting is that it's still there.. even tho I'm not experiencing any outward, noticeable anxiety. 

Hmmmm.....

Gluten.  Gluten's pretty yummy.  I MIGHT be having a gluten issue.  I'm testing out the waters.  I ate something last night... and something today... both supposedly gluten-free and... .still felt somewhat shitty after I ate.  I hate feeling bad after I eat.  That's no way to live. 

My right hand is cold.  Left hand... .warm. 

So I'm 37 now.  That kinda blows.  I know when I'm 69 tho... I'm gonna look back and remember that I said that when I was 37 and.. wanna slap myself in the throat.  

Hey!  Just remembered.... I was in the middle of talking to a very good friend today... while taking an afternoon drive.... and...  I had to stop the convo.. call him back.. because I saw a photo opp I COULD NOT pass up!   See above pic...  It was SO PRETTY!  The awesome blue sky.. with puffy white clouds... and this line of Awesome Red Trees!  And.. half their leaves had fallen off... and they were beautifully scattered about.  MAN it was a beautiful sight to see.  :)  LOVE nature!  More than anything.  It really does prove (to me) that there is a God.  GOD... not a guy that hears everyone's prayers... but...  a Positive Force. 

....ball peen... just came to mind.

Hey.. I said I was hyper today.  That includes my brain as well.

Hot Pepper Cheeseeee!!!!    HAHAHAHAHA...

Sinbad.
Vegetables.
Blue Car.
Outburst!
Long Island Lolita.
Vegetables (again!)
Ummmm..
Yeah... can't say that one.
Ha!

Some of THEE funniest shit I have Ever seen....  check out on youtube.  "Bad Lip Reading":

* 2012 1st Presidential Debate
* More Mitt
*Rick Santorum
* Newt Gingrich
* Ron Paul

I know there are some that will not find this funny.  I don't really care about them.  I find them em effing hilarious.  And I'm very happy I ran into them.  They gave me a sore stomach and tears.  That's what you want out of your comedy right there.  Thank You.

I gotta go but..  You know what toy is bought every HALF SECOND?

........

........

..........

..........

..........

.........

The Barbie Doll.

C-ya!

Harley Mom vs. Christmas Sweater Mom

Saw these two standing at a bus stop today.  [side note: bus stops are apparently becoming extinct]  What's funny is...  I KNOW that the Christmas Sweater Mom is looking at the Harley Mom with judgmental eyes.  And, isn't that ironic??  YOU - Christmas Sweater Mom - are the one that is judging this woman by her attire.  I would say the better person is the mother minding her own business, proudly wearing her Harley jacket to the bus stop.... not giving a SHIT what Snowy Scene is on your Ugly Ass Sweater.   ....hahaha. 

Saw an old dude driving a truck with his front license plate reading: "Bad Boys Drive Bad Toys".  It made me laugh out loud for some reason.  Some of the things MEN have on their vehicles... makes me shake my head.  I know you've all seen the "Auto Testicles".  I would like to have a conversation with a guy who has a set of these on his ride.   ...No I don't.  I'm not easily offended.. and I am pretty far from a prude.  But...   Really?  Fake, plastic testicles.. hanging off your hitch????   It's effing disgusting.  This is supposed to symbolized your masculinity??  Uh...  last time I checked a guy secure with his masculinity kept his balls in his PANTS.

..i know.. this is weak.  but.. that is all i have for now.  

Walmart Combos.

It's kinda crazy that it's lawful to drive around a Jeep Wrangler without doors.  That's pretty cool.

Wanted to wash the car last night, but that glass of Merlot with dinner didn't end at one.  Thanks Betty.

I also set my alarm for JEOPARDY.  Who does that?

Extremely Enjoyable to this chic:  

Walmart combos:

Athlete's Foot Powder

Wild Bird Seed

and a Sponge Bob Square Pants Puzzle . . .

Oven Roasted Turkey Breast

Transmission Fluid

and a Glade Plug-In . . .

Post-it Notes

Chicken Bouillon

and a Yoga Mat . . .

Easter Egg Dye

Reebok Tube Socks

and a Pregnancy Test . . .

Cinnamon Toast Crunch

an Azalea Bush

and a Rifle . . .

....LOL...... 

 Diapers

an I-Pod Shuffle

and Water Chestnuts . . .

Toaster Strudel

Mop & Glow

and a Class Ring . . .

..to be continued...

Couch Forts, Dinosaurs and Snyder from One Day at a Time. lol.

There are really lame magazines in doctors' office waiting rooms.  Really lame.  Golf.  Women's World.  Are there only two categories of people that see doctors?  Typical Male and Typical Female?  How about a National Geographic or an Amusement Park Enthusiast mag?  Haha.  Just kidding about the latter.   What I hate is when you DO find something interesting in one of them and you're halfway thru an article and doc busts in.  That happened to me just now.  I wanted to be like "Wait a minute doc, let me finish this article."  Haha.

Not sure if I mentioned this before, but there's this dude in Freedom.  Let's call him FRED.  I see him most mornings.  He walks up and down the sidewalk.. looking down on the road next to the curb.. as if he is looking for something.  The only thing that I can come up with is that he is looking for change.  But... why would change be on the ground, next to the sidewalk?  There are no parking meters down there.  When people exit their vehicles, does change usually fall out of their pockets onto the streets?  I am so curious about this.  I REALLY want to ask this guy what he's looking for.  Then, even tho I'm not a fan of giving bums money, I might give him a few quarters.  Since I bothered him and all.  I could throw some out the window when I drive by if I see him.  But then I'd feel like a big Douche.  Like some rich snob, throwing my money to the Poor People.  That's not very nice.  I am assuming everything here, but I assume the guy is all alone.  I assume he is a major alcoholic.  I assume he has no job and I assume he has very little money.  And very little to eat.  I wonder where he lives.  He's Very skinny and he usually rocks a beard, but he is completely shaven like once or twice a year.  [Yes, I've been driving by this dude for Years]  I'm afraid if I stop and talk with him, he's gonna act all crazy.  He looks crazy.  Maybe around Christmas if I see him I can stop and hand him an envelope with a 20 in it.  Do you think he'll buy booze with it?  You bet your ass he will. 

I don' think I mentioned this yet either.  Kids making tents and forts out of couches and couch cushions, etc.  What a Great part of childhood, eh?  So much fun can be had w/out spending a dime.  [That reminds me of pots & pans.. and boxes being a favorite for toddlers]  We need to re-kindle our kids' imagination.  I think it's already built-in, but technology is introduced so early now..  the imagination gets lost.  I bet there are some parents out there that don't let their kids take apart the couch to build forts.  That's a real shame, however, this is where Friends come in.  This is why friendship is such an incredible thing.  Especially childhood friendship.  If you don't have cool parents...  you can go to your friend's house and build a fort with THEM. :)

......I have this note in my... notes.. section of my phone.  I have NO IDEA what this means.  It says:

Snyder 18   24    2    4.

Huh???????

Two things I think of when I see Snyder.  The chips and the dude from oh... What was that show?   ...thinking....  Oh.  One Day at a Time.  The maintenance guy, Snyder.  I always said "Sh-ny-der".  It's just what I say.. but recently I changed it to the "proper"  S-ny-der.  Whatever.  Just like I sold out and changed "Crick" to "Creek".  What the hell's wrong with me?

lol.  Not sure yinz have heard of "Walmart Combos".  You pick 3 of the most random things that one could legitimately purchase at Walmart.  3 things that Completely do not go together... and it's usually hysterical.  I find it hysterical anyway.   Here is one a cousin of mine came up with.  It's the best one I've heard yet.

Panty Liners, a Cross Bow and Half n' Half.

Ha!!!!!!!!  Effing hilarious.  


Did you know that "We are participants in the activities of the solar system"  ?  I found that to be a very interesting quote.  Also....

I had a sudden realization about dinosaurs the other day.  I was watching a documentary about how they were wiped out...  and.. I started Really thinking about it.. and...  I had this Really Strange feeling when I TRULY realized that these enormous creatures ACTUALLY walked this Earth!  Craziness!!  
 

Tesla

We are a mixture of things, right?  Good, bad, happy, sad, sweet, salty...  Well, here are some positive and negative thoughts..

I should have done this 2 nights ago, while my ears were still buzzing, but I got tired.  It's now Friday and I'm listening to Soul Coughing.  Which means I'm completely out of 80s rock mode.  However... 

The Tesla show kicked ass.  80s music is so damn fun.  They say they've been together.. 26 years I think it is.  They sound really, really good.  I've always liked Tesla.. especially the voice of Jeff Keith.  He sounded Great, as well as the rest of the band, which I'm sure is not the original line-up.  The one [rhythm] guitarist was about 25.  The best part about him was his shirt.  he had an "n p r" shirt on.  Haha...  I love npr. 

Jeff's appearance was kinda scary, due to what I am assuming is a large amount of drug use.  However, dude sounded amazing.  A few times during the night I closed my eyes and just.. listened.  Instead of focusing on visuals.  It brought me back.  Felt nice.  I sang along to all their [great] ballads..  and rocked out to the rest. 

Now, haha, I know that I am "aging" let's say.  Cause  my very first thought while entering the venue was "MAN is that loud!"  The opening act was performing, which was "The Reb Beach Project".  They were very good as well.  Then..........

There is ALWAYS that one Extremely annoying drunk chic with her boyfriend standing RIGHT in front of me.  This time she was wearing an annoying back pack - which stuck out Horizontally... and it was gyrating into my crouchal region the whole time..   ..and it Was Not an pleasant experience.  Yes I could have moved out of the way, but dammit, I was in My Designated Spot, leaning against my piece of railing, and she weazled her way  in Directly in front of me...where there Was no room..  dancing like a son of a bitch.  Now, I don't have an issue with someone enjoying themselves and dancing at a concert, but if you have a fuckin BACKPACK on...  be aware of that fact, and the people around you.  Yes, I'm insane..  thinking other people Actually consider others.  Then..  she's fighting with her boyfriend... she's outta beer... she's talking and talking and talking..  repeatedly telling him to come over there by her.. where there was Zero available space.  She also took the spot of a die-hard fan that was in that spot the whole time.. when she came back.. they exchanged glances but nothing was done.  There's an unspoken rule of concert etiquette if you take someone's spot and they come back.. you should move.  Maybe I'm wrong..   'lose your feet lose your seat'..  whatever.  There's that crazy expected consideration again.  Silly me.

See, I am a person who goes to a concert to ACTUALLY WATCH AND LISTEN to the show.  Not to socialize... not to get hammered.  There is a time and a place for those two things, and This is Not one of them!  The couple in front of us before that...  they were actually worse... but they only stayed for about 15 minutes.  I had a feeling they would not be staying put...  due to her crack-like motions.  Dude was like 6'11".. stood Directly in front of me.. and she was short and DID NOT STOP TALKING... and did those REALLY loud whistles.. with the fingers in the mouth...   Those are actually pretty cool...  I wish I knew how to bust them out.. but... she did it like.... 19 times.  After each song there were like 4 of them.  SSoooooooooo loud.  Again, I know I'm getting old.  Plus, I'm completely sober..   of course if I would have had a few, it wouldn't have bothered me as much. 

All I want people to do is be considerate.  That's it!!   That is WAY too much to ask.  IF I'm 6'11", I know there isn't going to be an ideal place for me to stand at a concert... but at least watch the fuckin show.. . don't be talking to your person the WHOLE ENTIRE TIME. 

*sigh*

None of this took away from my great time.  But I just get aggravated.

The 2nd chic - The Gyrator - she was out of beer and had her man go get more... he comes back with a Coors Lite can... haha.. you should have seen her face.  It was like he handed her a can of ground up sewer rat. 

Then, during the very last song, this hammered, testosterone-pumped tall fella with a golfer hat decided to just start plowing into people... then staring them dead in the face.. like he knew them.  Obviously looking for a fight.  He did this to my man.  I was thinking some fists were going to flying for sure.  I'm glad they didn't.  I was waiting for him to touch me.. I was ready.  Haha.. luckily it didn't happen.

Anyway, if I didn't love experiencing live music so much, I would just stay home so I can avoid the endless annoyers out there.  I know, I just have to suck it up.  And shut up.  Oh....

One more thing I forgot to mention.  As I was standing in line waiting to buy an energy drink, one chic called me "Bitch", cause there was a large group gathered around the bar and I apparently moved up closer than her and she didn't like it.  Then... when I got up there... the bartender approached me before the girl next to me that was there before me... so then she was all "I was Totally next!" .. in her best valley girl accent.  Haha...  Women.       

What happens when the soul flows....

This is how I feel today.

I feel super duper happy and excited today.  I know why.. it's cause I'm taking GIRL out for her birthday.  Those of you who don't know me, "my GIRL" is like my "roll dog".  You can't get more close, vibe-wise, than we are.  We just 100% GET each other.. and have that 100% comfort level with each other.  It's Free and Real.  It's a BEAUTIFUL thing.  Sooo.. since we click so well, it's Always a Fantastic time.  And... she doesn't get the opportunity to get out as often as she would like so, tonight is extra special. 

So there's this woman who makes and bakes fudge.  .....wait... do you Bake fudge???  Maybe not.  Either way, she makes it and she has this little FUDGE stand at the end of her front yard, right next to a busy road and she sets up shop on occasion.  I don't know why this is any different than fudge you would buy in a well-known store, but it just creeps me out when I think about it...   Who knows what the HAY she is doing to this fudge...  I think it's because I can see her house... and.... I'm always in the state of realization that.. ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING strange, odd and effed up can and does go down in houses.  So.....  with that being said...  how do I know that one of her steps in this fudge-making process isn't to PEE in the fudge batter?  LOL.  Really?????   Would we even know??  No.  We wouldn't.   We would eat the fudge while saying MMMmmm this is good.    ..Poor fudge lady.  Look at me, judging her.  If I ever drive by there when she's at her stand, I'm gonna have to stop and ask her if she pees in them.

just had a thought.... I wonder if a Total Stranger reads my blog.  If they.. somehow just happened upon it one day.. and liked it so they decided to stay.  Hey! You!  Why don't you say hello!?  Haha....  respond to this blog if you do in fact exist.

Okay, I'm feeling ornery today.. before I get into trouble.. I'm gonna stop here!

SEE-YA!!  

life is weird.

Running into someone you dated 20 years ago is very STRANGE.  They are someone completely new.  A total stranger.  Yet...  20 years ago... you were Best Friends who didn't leave each others side.  One day you are inseparable.. one day you are Perfect Strangers.   ...weird.  Makes you realize how much you change and grow, yourself.  The life cycle is interesting.  

What's also interesting is this....   Not having a child right now, but then one day having one.  A new person that You Created...  will be here...  existing.. being a part of you.. changing your WHOLE existence.  But right now...  they don't exist.  They're just in your head.  You wonder what they will look like.. and what type of person they will be.  You wonder how much your influence on them will shape them.  You wonder if they will end up crazy... or a millionaire.. or losing a limb..  You wonder about their life.  How much love will be added to yours... and theirs.  You create a being... From Love.  They are actually a Product of Love.  Yet....  you hold the power to completely eff up their life.  They are so incredibly fragile.  What a miracle to be able to be a part of that.  If I ever get an opportunity to be responsible for creating a life.. and shaping that life.. I will absolutely give it my ALL.

We (the people who want to "have a baby") mostly think about the actual Baby.  But do we visualize that person being... a 52 year old woman?  Or... and 39 year old Man?  Chances are, they will be.  I think it's important to think about them in that regard, as well as this tiny, helpless human.  They sure are cute in their first part of life...  and what is it about baby HATS that makes them SO much cuter??  Haha...  Man...  I could just die of cuteness overload.   Naming your "child" is a large responsibility.  You might say it's just a name but...  I think it's a bit more than that.  I know some people who's name Totally suits them.  Others.. not so much.  I know you can't predict their personality before they even exit the womb so..  it's a gamble.  We should be given a few months at least until we have to name our kid!  I think the Indians might do that.  Like.. I named my cat Diesel.  Haha...  man was I off the mark on that one.  He should Absolutely be CUPCAKE.  Or...  Princess.  Haha.

I love coffee but I need a freakin' Diaper!  Sheesh!      

This is a really girly phrase but..  My necklace just broke and.. it Really complemented my outfit!! :(

Good day.

Quality.

I know.  It's been a while.  Deal with it.  Not too much has happened in the past 2 months.  Well, month and a half.  Let's see....  had a couple doctors appointments...  a good friend turned 40... got my hair dyed.... switched from Prilosec to Zantac...  haha..  I lead a REALLY exciting life.  I saw a really cool sky last night... and a really cool sunset.. I attempted to take some pics with my (dumb)phone.. they didn't turn out well at All.  But the images are in my head so..  that's nice.  That just means none for you.  I try to only post Quality stuff.  Entertaining.. Interesting.. Funny.. Shocking.. Strange.  Yeah..  not...  booooorrrinnnngg.

Had a fight with the significant other yesterday.  That was kind of exciting.  Got the blood flowing at least.   The best thing about us is when we Do fight.. we get it all out.. yell.. cry.. whatever.. then it's all over and we move on.  There is no.. Fuck this I'm outta here or.. not talking for 3 days.  It's over and done with.  You talk (yell) until it's resolved then you move on in your life.  But you gotta get it all out...  or it'll just come out Next Time.  And it'll be Bigger.  This type of fighting is definitely a Good Thing.  It means that both people are standing up for what they believe in, and have something to say about it.  All those times we Didn't fight, it was because I wasn't speaking up.  It feels great to be ME and to stand up for what I believe, Without any Fear.  That is key.  I used to have so much fear.  Fear of what?  I don't know.   But I had it.

I'm also fed up with restaurants and the poor quality food they put out.  And the poor quality products companies put out in general.  I ordered a $19 steak and it was actually pretty terrible.  I ordered a slice o "homemade" mango and raspberry cheesecake - thinking it was going to be AWESOME, and totally worth my Sunday Splurge - but it was terrible.  Almost tasteless. AND 6 dollars.  Why do so many people think that they can charge an assload for pieces of shit products?  OH...  because consumers continue to consume and say nothing about it.  I Hate to complain.  I really do.  So I normally have the mindset of "Well, I ordered this not knowing anything about it.. taking a chance on it.. I'll just suffer if it isn't to my liking."  That's probably wrong.  It's all because I worked in the biz for so long..   I just take the screwing...   I think that's part of the whole restaurant experience.  You go there, give them your money and you take what they give you.  Now...  some would argue "Well, if you would actually Pay a Decent Amount for your dining experience, you might actually get some good food and good service." This is true.  However, why can't Regular ol' Joe restaurants have good food and service too!  If I buy a steak for $6, of course it's going to be shitty.  But.. $19?  I think that's a decent amount of money for 6 ounces of beef.  Whatever, maybe I'm way wrong on this one.  All I know is that I'm constantly being let down by Poor Quality.  Everywhere I go.  And it SUCKS.

What about those "diners, drive-ins and dives" on that show?  Those are "regular restaurants" in "regular towns" with normal prices!  And THEY have great food and great service!  *sigh*  Maybe I just need to look harder.  The thing is...  I don't go out to eat all that often.  I just pick a random place every once in a while that sounds good.  I'm just going to have to do more research. 

I think it's about pride, and how it has been lost.  There used to be pride in making a quality product.   They're still out there... there's just a Lot Less of them.  And that sucks.

So there are 2 musical events coming up.  That's always exciting to me.   Tesla and Mike Doughty.  Tesla, of course, is a band from the 80s that I really liked and.. still like.  I don't listen to them often, but when I do, it just does a good thing to my insides.  I especially like the singer.  So, they're in my town.. along with Reb Beach - from the 80s band Winger.  Haha...  this should be an entertaining night for sure.  Mike Doughty is coming..  he is formerly of the band Soul Coughing - a 90s band-, which I really love.  I thoroughly dig His voice as well.  And his song-writing.  I think it would be cool to see him live... although I don't think I know one other person that would enjoy this with me.  I'm gonna try to drag a couple friends along tho.

Mmm..... that's all for now.  Hopefully something super duper exciting happens so I can tell you all about it.

P.S.  As I just re-read this I thought of something else.  Speaking of getting the blood boiling...

I made attempted to make some omelets on Saturday.  I know there are some tricks and I Definitely need to look them up cause holy hell did I get upset.  Haha.  During the omelet-attempt process, I was actually SHAKING at some point.  Hahaha...  I feel so inadequate sometimes when I try to make stuff.

:: Omelet tips welcome ::

ASHEVILLE

Before I get to Asheville, I forgot to mention my flat tire experience.  There's not too much to say except, I had a flat tire.  It wasn't really "one of those days", but it quickly turned into one when I spotted a nice little gift on the ground about 4 feet from my car... which I was about to lay down next to:

Yep, that's a dirty diaper.  Now, I seem to do a lot of complaining about the actions of Humans but... this solidifies my point.   I want to know WHO throws a dirty diaper onto the ground in a parking lot.  Please Tell Me.  It was gross.  I kicked it away, then busted out my trusty, fluorescent orange cone that I've had in my trunk for like 15 years that I never had a chance to use.. Until Now!  I was pretty excited about that part.  I've been made fun of for that cone...  haha.  I was about to change the tire myself, by the way, but I wasn't positive where to put the jack exactly, and I didn't want to eff anything up so, yeah.  Made a phone call.  But..  now I know.  This trusty fella helped me out:

Haha.  It just so happened that he wore his "safety orange" shirt to work that day... to match my safety cone.  haha...

Soooooooooooooooooooooo... ASHEVILLE.

Nice place.  Lots of nice things to look at, beautiful views.  Cool shops.  Awesome restaurants.  A very laid back environment.  My favorite part of the trip was the drive up to Mt. Mitchell.  It took like 25 minutes to drive all the way up and there were gorgeous trees on both sides of the road...  Amazing views!  I did in fact notice the elevation when I walked up the last 1/2 mile or so to the very top (elevation: 6,684), but once up there it was.. Fantastic. 

Took the audio tour at the Biltmore.  Insanely interesting stuff.  Truly aw-inspiring to see and hear how certain people lived so long ago.  There are so many cool things about the Biltmore.. and so many awesome rooms, but one of my favorites is the dining room.  Just.. wow.

My friend now owns a sailboat.  I can't even imagine how awesome it is to own a sailboat.  It's great... and we chilled on Watauga Lake in Tennessee.  BEAUTIFUL.  And so peaceful.  I was very happy there.

Walking around downtown was pretty interesting.  Some amazing stores..with countless amazing things inside.  I could spend weeks in most of those stores.  Lots of interesting creatures in Asheville.  This one stood out quite a bit:

The Arboretum -which I continually forgot how to pronounce- was awesome.  Inside displayed a lot of poisonous trees, flowers, plants, seeds, etc.  Outside had some amazing flowers.. and bonsai trees.  My favorite flower I saw down there:

My friend who lives there was very concerned about me having a good time and experiencing all that Asheville has to offer.  I've seen enough to be wildly impressed, my friend.  But the most important part of my trip was to see YOU.  Even tho he's slightly (okay a little more than slightly) insane, I love him.

 

Thanks for the strongest cup of coffee I've EVER had, bro.  haha. 

Happy, Curious and Irritated.

Well, well, well.  It seems like it has been forever.  But.. in this land.. the land of ME..  there ARE no rules or regulations... or expiration.  I kinda feel like I have a lot to say.  But.. where to begin??

Well, I can start off with:  I am the happiest I have been in a VERY long time.  Why?  Because I am I finally back on track with my health.. which means... on a one-way track to burning off this god awful PHAT.  I'm 6 pounds down so far.  Got 24 to go to reach my goal.  People lose 187 pounds.... I can lose 30.  Thirty.  It's really not THAT much, but to me, it will make a UNIVERSE of difference.  See, where I am right now...  tossing and turning around in this squishy shell of mine...  It's not a fun place.  I - ME - The Me that makes Me ME... is in this shell...  squirming and adjusting and screaming to get out...  The real ME is lean and strong and muscular and active and hyper and energetic and healthy and athletic.  Being those things makes me HAPPY.  It just feels GREAT.  It's been quite some time but, I do remember it.  And holy hell does this extra weight make you age.  WOW.  I bet I'm really like "55" at the moment.  Fuck that.  Let's get back to a hot, slender, strong 22 year old!!  I don't know about you.. but EYE sure miss her.

M.R.I.  Magnetic Resonance Imaging.  I didn't know what it meant until today.  Had one done on my knee yesterday.  It was an interesting experience.  I am not claustrophobic, so that part didn't bother me.  The noise didn't bother me, really, since I was given ear plugs.  My mind was just RACING the whole 20ish minutes it took to complete.  I could see nothing but the machine above me.. and the delightful faux ceiling tile display of sky..clouds and flowers.. and I could slightly hear her voice behind me... as she hid in the room behind me the machine, speaking thru a loudspeaker.  My imagination started running wild and.. haha.. .for some reason it went the way of a Horror Film.  I felt like the mind of Stanley Kubrick.  Like I was on the set of 2001 A Space Odyssey Slash The Shining Slash Final Destination.  I imagined me getting stuck in the machine and sharp objects being plunged into my legs, while I screamed.. and doctors with elbow-length, black rubber gloves were lined up in the back of the room, giggling, as they planned their next attack on me.  WTF right!?  Haha...  I have no idea.  I don't have much control over my mind in certain sitches.  One would think that the delightful sunny summer scene above me would keep my mind at ease.  Haha.  Not for this girl.  There's some evil in there for sure.   As I lay there, I started laughing at myself for thinking such ridiculous thoughts.  I also starting thinking about my friend Eric, who I know likes horror films.  He would appreciate my twisted, medical daydream. 
 
Another thing I couldn't stop wondering is how on  Earth they have not figured out a way to make those machines quieter.  I have no idea how many millions.. but I am sure it's like at least a 10 million dollar machine.  And.. it's 2012, people.  Really?  How could it Still be That Loud??  If anyone has any MRI knowledge, please feel free to share.  .....Okay so I just read a tidbit that said they run from $1 million to $3 million each.  Haha.. But I bet there are some that are $10 million!

Next...

We have this neighbor - let's just call her ASSHOLE.  She is the daughter of a lovely grandpa who lives two doors down.  She's got to be pushing 50, and she claims she's a doctor so not sure what she's doing living at home but Whatever.  Not my business, right?  RIGHT.  That's the whole point of this story.  Now, I am not known to talk smack on people, but this chic really irritates me.  She's one of those humans who think the globe belongs to her.  Like it was passed down from generation to generation.  A family heirloom if you will.

So when we first moved in.. she discovered we used - god forbid - the Evil LAWN FERTILIZER.  She jogs by our house.. and saw the man applying it, asked "Is that fertilizer?" and jogged away.  She was afraid to jog by our house after that.  She goes back to her dad and literally starts Yelling - outside - so we can hear..  "They're killin' me!"  blah blah blah.. whatever else she said. Apparently, she's a freak, as well as a nosey asshole.  So, this morning.. there she is again.. All Happy and Sweaty... the man happened to be out there watering the flowers.. throwin' down drops of EVIL and she asked him, while jogging in place,  "Are those pesticides?  You know... I'm a "medical doctor" and those are really bad...."  Talkin all this shit like.. if you're going to have babies and... you know your next door neighbor had cancer..   Haha..  Really, lady?  I can think of about 902 things for you to be more concerned with.  And they're Herbicides, not Pesticides, smarty pants.  If you don't like what people do to their lawns.. and you have a doctor's salary.. why don't you go buy a fuckin house in the middle of the woods! 

And while you're at it...  You might wanna MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS.

Asheville... next up.

Drug-Free Acid Trip.

I'd like to get injected with morphine and get my ass into a hot air balloon.  Without aforementioned injection there is NO WAY you are getting me in one.  I think they are SO COOL.  I also think that it would be a KILLER experience.  I also know myself and I know that I would .. not for a second... be able to shut off the "what if" switch.  No way I could shove my fear under the carpet for a magical balloon ride.  That's a shame too.   I get a warm/fuzzy feeling when I see pics of hot air balloons.  I saw one this morning on my way to work. 

So I got my ride back.  My beautiful, sexy, glossy red SIX.  I really do love that thing and I couldn't be happier driving it again.  I've owned it for 5 years now, and I still love it like the day I got it.  I say that's pretty impressive.  I love cars.. what can I say.   [eff trucks]

On less than 4 hours of sleep.  The brain starts to do funny things when that happens.  I remember one night when I lived in Milwaukee I stayed up with my cousin literally ALL NIGHT LONG.. on a SCHOOL NIGHT!!!  HAHA... what were we Thinking!?!?  Oh, that's right, we weren't.  Cause we were teenagers.  And we knew how to have a good time.  I think I actually got 20 minutes of sleep that night.  Then actually went to school.  Haha...  I'm sure I tripped the whole day...  funny how your brain becomes like an acid trip and you don't even have to add any drugs.  I cannot Imagine those people that have stayed up for like 5 days in a row.  Holy Hell.

I don't know why but I think it's a Badass thing to drink Black Coffee.  Haha.  I want to be that person...  I do not add sugar.. just cream.  But I'm even whittling myself down from the cream.  ..they say cow's milk is not so good for the human system.  I wonder if I can do it. 

I could literally have a blog exclusively about my cats.  Every day I could have something new to say about what they did that day.. or how hilarious they are.  LOL... Just thinking about some of the stuff my one boy does.. oh man... he has no idea how funny he is.  Shit I'm lucky to have him.

Knowing that you're leaving for vacation is an exhilarating feeling.  I'm going to cherish every moment of it.

Friday.

Thoughts today: 

What if a whole entire parking garage came crashing down.  Like.. all the way down.  Without even thinking about what casualties there would be.. just think of All Those Cars inside.. and the amount of work that would be going into insurance claims.  ...Wow.

Saw a guy walking down the road in Pink shoes.  Like.. really super girly pink.  [as if there were a masculine hue of pink]  Your confidence level has to be pretty brazen to bust out some Pink Ass Shoes.. if you're also sporting a goatee.  Good for that guy.

Kinda sorta [not really] reminds me of something I do.  I happen to like certain "man" cologne.  Like.. ON my skin.  Not just in my strolls.  GIO is...  Ridiculously awesome.  To me, it doesn't smell like a man.. or manly.  It just smells like...  Awesomeness.    Which brings me to another thought...

What DOES a "man" smell like??  Well, if you ask me, I would have to base that on the 2 men that have been in my life the longest.  The father and the husband.  They both smell pretty much the same.  When not cleaned up and smelling of soaps/emollients/perfumes....    it's gasoline, sweat, cigar smoke and that workin-on-the-car-smell.  You know... grease n' ..  automotive Fluids.   ...grass...  motor oil...  dust?  haha.

I told a stranger today that her attitude SUCKED.  Cause by golly it certainly did.  And they are working for a company that is trying to make money.  Well, when I am thrown a piss-poor attitude, you're certainly not getting My money asshole.  ..ass cracker.  ..ass triscuit.  ..ass biscuit. 

Man..  it's been four months since I had my car on the road.    ..hopefully just another week or two!!  Man I miss that sexy Red.. motorized automobile.       ....hee hee. 

Things I Don't Get.

BAD IDEA.

i don't understand fake deer in people's yards.  but somehow i Get the flamingos.  but.. the best is...  the duck  ..in outfits.. to match the holidays.   ...... when i see this i feel like a complete alien.

talking on a telephone while driving an automobile is really dumb.  ..and i do it often.

telephone.  automobile.  bicycle.  television.  these words have been lost.  and i miss them.  what about bus?  that seems pretty short for an original. 

home-made garage sale signs.  have you seen these things??  they're pathetic.  i'm not sure which brain chamber tells them to bust out their fine-tip ballpoint pen to create their sign..  you want Actual Humans to show up at your sale right??  well, spend the 3 dollars on a FAT black magic marker and.. DO IT RIGHT.

nose-picking security.  do you have it?  i certainly don't.  you've seen the ones that do.  you look in your rear view... or to the car next to you.. and there they are... digging away... w/out a Care in the world.   i don't know how they do it.  i also don't understand why you wouldn't take care of this shit before you leave the house...

and then there's the dreadful passing thought of... what are they going to DO WITH IT!?!?   oh, the horror.  that probably tops the Things I Don't Get list at #1.  eating your... yeah.. i can't even SAY it.



i like to say the word "spectacular".  

Monday? Yep, there it is.

I find the things that elicit the most excitement in my soul involve music.  Especially upcoming musical events.  First we have a Doors tribute band coming up this weekend.  I know that's going to be very cool.  Then, 9 days from now I will be witness to one of my favorite group of guys on the globe, Live!  Ladies and Gentlemen...  The Red Hot Chili Peppers.  I've been a fan since Mother's Milk.. so about 23 years.  Bands always change...progress.. get older.. find peace in their lives... music becomes a little less exciting.  It seems almost impossible to keep that same youthful spark going that you have when you release your first couple of albums.  But.. they still know how to Bring It.  They are covered in wrinkles and gray hairs but they still flair up my Soul [to Squeeze] when I see them live.   

.....funny how one quick argument can change your whole entire demeanor.

we'll continue this another day.

not much.

got a new fax machine coming my way.  i've actually only punched this one once (that i can remember).  but i should actually take it out to a field and go Office Space on it's ass.  that would be both refreshing and hilarious. 

lost (not misplaced) 4 pounds.  good riddance you son of a beotch.  i can see myself twenty pounds lighter, it's just a matter of finding the mental muscle mass to break out of this prison.  i need rob schneider to tell me i can DO IT.

hmm.. let's see.. i'm just gonna run with it today.  don't have Too much to say. 

i think i need a frisbee buddy.  and a badminton buddy.  i LOVE these two things, but sadly you must rely on another individual in order to make it Happen.

Yep.. nothing's coming.  this Wednesday does kinda feel like a Monday.

Things to be thankful for:
Lovable Cats
Homemade Soap
Good Hugs
Butterscotch Pudding

Slow Motion

Complete Disaster Repair

I often refer to myself as a disaster.  Is that very nice?  No.  Is it accurate?  I think so.  I feel that I'm basically a functional, responsible train wreck.  HAHA.  That sounds really bad when I read it back.  I'm not a train wreck.  I just FEEL like a train has wrecked inside my brain.  Sometimes.  Haha.  All you out there with miniature train wrecks happening in your mind know what I'm talkin' about.  There was a truck in front of me this morning with words on the back reading "Complete Disaster Repair".  Haha.. I instantly thought of myself.  I could use some disaster repair!

I have however, learned to stand up for myself in the past .. oh.. I don't know how many years.  All I know is that I used to be a ridiculously shy, scared little girl that could never have the courage to stand up for herself.  I am happy to say that I have gathered up some wisdom along my way to..  Death.  HAHA.. Well, that's what it is, isn't it??  You live.. learn... gather up all sorts of knowledge and wisdom.. then you're body and mind crumbles to bits (lol) and you're...Dead.  BUT... that's okay.  We are focusing on the positive.. the NOW.. .the NOT-dead portion of this existence.  Wisdom.  A lovely thing.

Scene:  Giant Eagle.  At cashier attempting to purchase an item for $6.49.  It rings up $6.99.  I know this is wrong and I tell her (not very friendly "little person")  it's wrong.  Of course I get that attitude like... Whatever man.. just buy the effing thing.. don't be a pain in the ass... you're probably wrong anyways.  So she calls the manager over and they send this "gentleman" back to the shelf to see how much it REALLY is.  He comes back and says "$6.79".  Hahahaha.....  I know I'm right and I'm not gonna let these fuckers pull a fast one!  So I'm like, No, that's not right.  I'm going to go look myself, ok?  She's like "Well, he already looked."  I go over to look, and thanks to the wonderful technology of today, I took a photograph of said price tag which read "$6.49, mother fucka!"   On my way over, I did doubt myself, which I all too often do and I'm thinkin', I'm gonna feel like somewhat of a dork If I roll back over there and I'm wrong.  But, I was right!  The item right next to it was $6.79.  NOT the item I was trying to buy Thankyouverymuch.  So, I snap a pic of it.. and waltz on over to the tiny cashier like Bam!  Haha...  The manager saw it and had her change it.  All that attitude for nothing.  Gee, the customer actually IS right sometimes.  I finally got an apology at the end.  I'm surprised tho.  They don't be passin' those things out these days. 

THEN....  *sigh*  Yesterday was one of those days.  I don't feel like typing this whole thing out but.. I need this medical device for my mouth, but I don't need it enough to pay the $485 that they want for it.  I was told by the insurance company that it was NOT covered.  The doc's office calls back and says "It's 100% covered".  Um, ok.  So I go in, and they reassure me when I enter that it's 100% covered.  Terrific.  So I get fitted for this medical device - which requires purple Goo to be jammed into the pie hole - which I actually don't mind all that much - but apparently it was their Friday and their minds were elsewhere - and she did my Upper instead of my Lower.  AFTER I already corrected her when I  heard her saying "top".  So.. I had to be gagged by Purple Pete Twice.  Not that big of a deal.. but THEN...I'm about to leave and the chic wants me to sign a piece of paper stating that I will pay whatever balance is left over IF the insurance company doesn't pay 100%.  UUmmmmmm .... did we NOT have this conversation earlier??  The reason I am standing in your building is because it's not going to cost me a dime.    F*CK!!!!!!

But today is Friday.  And, I'm alive.. and I can See and Hear and Smell and.. Taste those mashed potatoes.  Haha...  I'm on a soft food diet at the moment.  TMJ is flarin' up! It's awesome!  "Temporomandibular Joint disorder".  I know it could be a LOT worse tho.  So, all is well in Train Wreck Land.  ....with the exception of me throwing this fax machine out the WINDOW!!!  


Good Day!

The Down Syndrome

Down again.  I'll be back up.. don't you worry.  All TWO of you.  I like this photograph.  Hope you do as well.  National Geographic has some Amazing pics..

BOO-Gah-Rah-Boo!

Thank God there's only two to choose from.  Male or female.  I'm talkin' about names.  You're either going to end up with a Boy or a Girl.  Most people have one of each name picked out.. so they're ready to go.  And... lucky for us.. One of the Two will pop out.  What if we had like 7 ...things... to choose from?  That would suck.  Haha.  That's a lot of pressure tho. Naming a kid.  They're going to be stuck with it, for life.  I think a child should be named like.. 6 months into its life.  What if you name your girl Precious.. and she turns out to be a mean maniac.  Or.. your son "Rex" and he turns out to be a uh....  very sensitive, poetry-loving male.  You should let the personality form before giving them a name they're stuck with for Life!  Come on!  I should make the rules around here...   Do I feel like a "Kelly"?  No.  No I don't.  A "Kelly" is a very girly, blonde, cheerleader type that loves pink and Mariah Carey.  I don't know what my name should be, but Kelly definitely doesn't suit me.  We should be able to pick our own names when we're like 10.  And then 20.  And then 30.  Cause you know how different you are at all 3 of those ages.  I think by 30 you would pick the one that you're gonna die with. Are we trying to control our kid's fate, by giving it a name?  Well, haha, I can tell you that doesn't work.  I'm sure my mum was happy to have a little girl.  Put dresses on her.. buy her dolls...  put pretty CURTAINS up in her room.  Hahahaha... Sorry MUM.  You were never going to win that battle.   

Suave shampoo.  I have turned my nose up, like a snob, to this cheaply-priced shampoo.  I just couldn't accept the possibility that it was just as good as it's competitors.  I have recently struggled with my shampoo choices and prices.  I want a Really Good shampoo and conditioner, but I don't want to pay $20 a bottle for it, if it's just like the rest.  I am at the tail end of this "good" "salon quality" shampoo, and it was Fair at Best.  I have highlights in my hair, so it's super duper tangly after I wash it.  I need something smooooothe.  I have things to put in it AFTER the shamp/condish process... but I want more out of my in-shower cleansing lubricants.  (Um..... )   So, I saw that Suave has a line of "salon" shampoos..  for like $3.47 a bottle!  Sweet!  So I decided to give it a shot.  I've got Nothing to lose.  Except $3.47.  So I tried it this morning.  My hair is soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo smoothe, my friends.  So Smoothe!  Smoother than a baby's ass.  Is there an "e" on the end of smoothe???   Haha.. you know.. there totally Isn't...  but.. I like the way it looks on the end, so it's stayin'.   

I've decided to save up for a better drum.  And.. I'm pretty excited about it.  I can spend my money on stupid, little things throughout the month... and have it add up to quite a bit.. and nothing much to show for it.  But..  if I take a hold of myself for a minute, and save up those dollars, I can buy something I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY LOVE.  A bougarabou.  Don't look for that puppy in spell check cause you Aint' gonna find it.   Wiki says:  They have a full, deep, rich sound which can be heard for miles and is effective at all dynamic levels. 

YES!  I freaking LOVE the sounds these things give off.  ..versus the djembe.  Too high pitch!  The boug is topped with COW skin (sorry PETA) vs. Goat skin.  That's what gives it it's deep tone. 

Things to be thankful for today:

Smoothe Hair.
Teeth.
Fingers.
Tooth Brushes.
Starbucks!!