Is there crack in this Earl Grey??

Ok so let's start with the dude behind me this morning.  It's rainy today.  And cloudy.  And dark.  Lots of lightning.  It happens.  I hear tons of accident reports on A.M. radio.  WHY?  It's not snow & ice people.  Dude behind me... let's call him Ted.  Ted has no lights on.  [I know I'm not "supposed to" end a sentence with a preposition but... how in the hell else would you say that?  "Ted's lights are in the off position"?  haha.. LAME]  I'm sure you've all seen this before.  This seriously bugs me.  Add it to my long list of THINGS I DON'T GET.  I have to chock it up to be selfishness.  "Well, EYE can see... and that's all that matters."   No.  You are living in society, with other humans, driving on a road, with other humans, all going different directions, all having shit on their minds, all in a fucking hurry.  It's just life.  It's what YOU DO.  You get your shit together...  flick your freaking lights on and turn your wipers to the ON position.... and drive.  Is it REALLY too much to ask?

Even tho it's a law to have your headlights on while it's raining...  it's more common courtesy.  What's that?  You never heard of that term?  YEAH.  That's the problem.   I know there will always be self-centered people out there... but it will never stop bothering me.  I'm not the kind of girl who just.. gets in her car and drives and tunes everyone and everything out.  Maybe I should be.  But I'm not.  I look around.... I pay attention... I think.  Pretty much the first thing I think of when it's raining is.... put your lights on.  Ted didn't even have his WIPERS ON!   ......then I started thinking......  what if it's not raining in his world???    ...haha. 

Hey... what do EYE know??  I know people who have seen some shit.  Shit that I am not capable of seeing.  Are they making it up?  I doubt it.  Are they really seeing it?  Are their eyes viewing an actual physical occurrence???  Or....  is their MIND seeing it?  They say the mind is an extremely powerful tool.  Tool?  No.. its not a tool.  Is it??   It's an... organ.  I don't even know WHAT it is... It's fucking amazing is what it is.. but I'm not going to get into that.  Either way... when they say "it's only in your mind"... what does that even mean???  so what!  What ISN'T in your mind??  So yes... If I currently have a tiny purple man in olive drab slacks standing next to my mug filled with pencils.....lol.... and I see him...  he's there.  And he's real.  What IS... Real???   .....The Matrix.  Badass movie.    

Way off track  here.  But IS there a track?  Haha.. no.  That's why I come here....  it's my purple playground.  There are no rules!!!!!!!!!!!!   Yay!!!!  Okay, I gotta pee. 

I'm back but I think I'm done.  Till next time.........   eat your vegetables!!! 

The Centenarian Gangsta

Just read about a guy who's 111.  Not sure I'd want to be human for that long.  There are other things this soul's got to experience.  But.. I guess there's time for that.  As..... there IS NO expiration date on the soul.

The body SERIOUSLY has got to be shutting down at that point.  It's nothing less than fucking amazing that the heart is still functioning... still beating away since day 1.  WOW.  I reeeaalllllyyyy need to get more exercise.  My poor heart... it's so unselfish... just pumping away to keep me alive.  It's only purpose is to keep this girl alive.  And I'm over here chilling on the couch.  I did dance a little yesterday.

You know... my usual, living room dance party.... Backspin on Sirius.  Nothin' better than Old School Hip Hop.  Well....  if we're being totally honest here.. my all time favorite thing to dance to .... the stuff that REALLY puts me in THE ZONE.... where I don't give a fuuuck....  is Gangsta Rap.  HAHA.  Now, I may not even know the real definition of "gangsta rap" but it's gotta be full of energy and very inappropriate.  Dr. Dre... Snoop Dog... DMX... Tupac...  tons of others.  LL Cool J is not a gangsta.. but one of my all time favorite songs to dance to.... it's in my Top 3... is LL's Doin' It.  It just does something to me.  I guess it does what he intended it to do to girls.  Haha.  Yep...  I'm in the Zone you Want me to be in.. haha.  It's an incredibly sexy song.  It doesn't matter WHO you are.. you're getting grinded on if you're near me.  Lol!  Another favorite is California Love by Tupac... but there are a few different versions....  it's gotta be a certain one...  and...  Let Me Clear My Throat by DJ Kool.   Those are some faves that come to mind.  DMX songs really fire me up.  And.. that SLAM song by Onyx.  YEAH.  Lots of songs from Snoop's Doggystyle and Dre's The Chronic.  Man I love that shit.  I don't know how or why my skin is this shade of Caucasian... cause I certainly do not feel Caucasian.    

So my intent of coming on here today was to write about road rage.  Haha.  See how quickly things get out of control with me?  And now "the suits" have arrived in the office....... and they've taken my mojo away.   Booooooo.  

Next time. 

Thanks for putting the wind back into my sails, guys.  I think I'm back.

: )

Toothbrush in the Hallway

Haha.  I just saw a guy walking down the hall, towards the bathroom, brushing his teeth.  Why not wait until you reach the bathroom?  I don't find it gross or inappropriate... although some would.  I just find it silly.  It IS a personal thing.  That would be like swirling a Q-tip around in your earhole, while walking down the hall, passing strangers.  ........huh?     ......was that guy just....??? 

And it wasn't just water and bristles either.  I smelled Colgate as he passed me.  

Some people don't care, and that's the bottom line.  And, as long as it's not hurting or negatively affecting someone else... so be it.  I just found it humorous. 

My (furry) Boys

Hilarious - "Portrait"

My cat is in love with Q-tips.  His name is Iggs.  His given name is Iggy Pop.. but you know you don't call your pet what name you gave him.  We call him Iggs... Iggsy... Piggy... Pinkleton... Bubba... Bubbies... HAHA... the list goes on.  It's him and his brother who rule our house.  His brother has the most unfitting name there is.  Diesel.  A more suitable name would have been Cupcake.  SERIOUSLY.  Iggs has pretty much remained the complete lunatic crazy ass that he was since birth.... making his given name a good one. Diesel is a sweetheart...  but only to the two humans living in his house.  Oh, and I'm sure he believes it's HIS HOUSE.  He is pretty much an asshole to everyone else.. but only because of fear.  If he has enough time to warm up to you - like a YEAR - you'll see his true colors.  He's your typical, skiddish, scardey-cat.  Runs as hides as soon as anyone but us opens the door.  He will come out eventually if it's a Female.  But... those scary men.. forgetabout it.  Unless you have a very soft voice, or start baby-talking.  Someone I know has a particularly deep "radio voice"... no way he'd get near my boy.   So............  what do we call HIM?   Dean.  Or...  Shveezil.  lol...  I love how these ridiculous names come out of nowhere.  Buggies.... Deaner... I rarely call him Diesel....  only when he's in trouble.. lol...  like when he jumps up on the counter in the kitchen when we go into the other room and he knows we can't see him... lol... he's hilarious... and so smart.  Since he's a cat.. and stealth-like.. you can't hear him jump up there... you can only hear him jump Down... . and I'm like (in my most stern, deepest voice)  dee-ZULLL.  He doesn't give a shit.  He knows damn well I aint gonna do SHIT to him.  All he's doing up there is going to the sink and licking whatever water he can find.  They love water. 

Anyway, he is incredibly loving.  All this boy wants is for me to hold him, and love him.  It's precious.  His is my baby boy.  My heart.  I never had my very own pet, until these two ended up in our bushes at midnight.  They were 1 month old.  I know I'm not their REAL MOTHER, oh but I'm their mother.  They could not possibly be more loved.  People talk about their kids.. and tell stories.. and say how much joy they bring to their lives.  Welp..  they are my kids.  I kinda feel like if I had a tiny human that I would love it even more.. but really... I see no difference.  I think I would love them the same.  I guess it might be a little more intense... since the humans can talk to you and.. reach you on a level that the felines cannot but.. I don't know.  I won't know till it happens.  Till then....  I am delighted by them.  Amazed every day.  They don't learn new things and start talking and teaching YOU things... like a human would... but...  They're still Totally Amazing creatures.  Full of love... and their curiosity brings me joy.  So.... back to Iggs for a minute.

He is something else.  Everyone probably thinks they have the perfect cat.. or... the best cat ever.  Well...  I GUARANTEE I would win in ANY contest for.... Best Cat Ever.  See, the people out there who "aren't cat people" or who claim they don't like cats...  I get it.  There are cats who are assholes.. just like there are people who are assholes.  Most of the time there is a reason they are being an asshole.. just like humans... but.... sometimes they're JUST an asshole.  So......  Iggs is NEVER an asshole.   People like dogs because they are loyal.. and are your best friend and... greet you at the door.. and.. hang out with you wherever you are.  Well.. that's Iggs.  He literally RUNS to the door every day when we come home from work.  He's either already at the door, waiting, cause he hears you approaching.. or he runs.  He is SO HAPPY that you are there.  And let me be clear...  there is food in his bowl.  He's not pretending to love us because he knows we are the keeper of the food.  He has plenty of food and he knows it.  He just loves us.

Now.... a big debate in MY head is.....  would they love us if we didn't have hands.  HAHA.  I'm gonna go with probably not.  Cause.... it's all about the hands with the humans.  That's what makes humans so great...  our hands make them feel REAL GOOD.   I would like to do an experiment.  Have a person who HAS no hands.. get a cat... love it.. sweet talk it.. feed it.. etc.  But they can't pet it.  See how the cats reacts.  Either way... we DO have hands (thankfully) and.. we love to rub them down.  It makes them feel good... it makes Us feel good. 

SO....  Iggs is awesome.  He says hello to us... he follows us around.. he hangs out with us.. no matter what we are doing (besides vacuuming and hair-drying).  He is man's best friend for sure.  He is absolutely hilarious.  He is "bad".  He is the dominant one... he beats up his brother...  oh I could go on and on about the things this cat does but...  I'll just leave you with this because I'm certain you are all catted out.

This boy fetches Q-tips.  In the bathroom - every morning - he hangs out with me on the toilet [HE's on the toilet - EYE am standing]..  sooooo happy... purring away... just to be alive...  meowing... saying hello mommy... saying good morning...  whatever he's saying I don't know but he's happy as hell.  So.. we used to have your standard bathroom trash can.  Since he's so "bad" he would take things out of it.. like q-tips. Yeah.. used Q-tips.  Yuk.  But this cat LOVES gross things.  Haha.. he's insane.  He's Iggy Pop.  He'll freaking lick or eat ANYTHING.  lol..  So yeah.. he was stealing waxy Q-tips until we got a can with a lid.  So..  He knows the sound of the Q-tip container..  and he started snapping.. getting alll excited... so.. I gave him a clean one.  He was SO EXCITED.  I show it to him... his little nose is all red with excitement.. lol...  I throw it..  and he RUNS as fast as he can after it!   Then.. he brings it back!!  What cat fetches?  He brings it back to me.. drops it.. looks up and meows.  How freaking cute is that.  He did that about 4 times the other morning...  then next morning like twice.  He's weird, but man is he awesome.

I really could go on with the shit he does that is awesome/unbelievable/hilarious.. but I will leave it at that.

I am just so SO thankful for them.  They are literally the best part of my day, and my life.  I mean, my man is too but... that goes without saying.  We really are a family.  You don't need human kids to be a family.  All you need is more than one individual.. and lots of love.  And... that we have.  : ))

Good day, all.