Doilies & Shoehorns

So I have a thing for shoe horns.  I do NOT have a thing for doilies.  On my way to work "doilies" popped into my head.  How does a DOILY pop into one's head as they're driving to work???  You Tell ME.  Doilies are very old school.  Something that would Never Ever be a part of my interior design.  Although I have a great appreciation for them.  Someone actually makes those things.  It's like the human version of a spider web, although you don't get IN them..  you just.. place them gently on an end table, and put things on them.  Such as a lamp.. or a framed photograph of ..  Ulysses S. Grant.  I don't like many "white" things.  White sneakers.. BAD.  White sunglasses.. BAD.  White bread..  mostly bad.  White shirts.. BAD.  White pants.. BAAAD.  Good white things:  milk.  bunny rabbits and cats.  tigers.  snowmen.  Some People.  but.. I would say that the majority of white people are bad.  We're not really "white" tho.  I"m talking WHITE WHITE.   Jesus H, have I lost my mind??? Like...  for REAL?? 

So... shoe horns.  I think they are so damn cool.  Old school, once again.  I really should have lived way way back in the day.  I miss it, and I never even experienced it.  If we live past lives.. my last one was def in like.. 1600.  I can almost smell the air.  I don't even know when the shoe horn was invented.  I just think it's a really cool little gadget.  I use one to put my sneakers on w/out untying them.  I didn't buy a shoe horn, although I certainly Would.  It was there when we bought the house.  Thanks former [bastard] tenants!  That's about the only good thing they left behind.  In my 36 years, I have never seen a shoe horn in a store.   Back then.. they used them because they had really good quality shoes.. shoes that would last many years.  Putting on shoes the way we do today would be a HUGE slap in the face to the people of yesteryear  Man we like to manhandle the things we buy, don't we?  There is just No Respect for Anything anymore.  But, we live in a disposable society so, keeping your shoes for 20 years does not apply.  So.. shoe horns go by the wayside.  But..  not in MY house!  HAHA!  I know, they're used to help put your shoes on, most of the time so you don't have to bend over so far.  But I really think they were also used to keep the quality of the shoe flowing.

...where was I going with this???

Feeling extra crazy lately.  Can you tell??

I wanted to blog about doilies and shoe horns.  I wanted to have a title of "Doilies & Shoehorns".  Haha.  And even tho I wouldn't be caught dead in, on or around a DOILY.. I appreciate them.

Oh yeah, one more thing.  And I may have mentioned this before..   but since my current blogosphere is fucking WACKED..  I just wanna add this piece of hilarity to the mix.. for your (and my) enjoyment:

Someone I know said he sometimes poops outside in his yard.  And this is what he said about it:

"Sometimes the crows get upset when they see me out there pooping."

I think that is THEE SINGLE BEST LINE I have ever heard in my entire life.  HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!

You R.O.C.K., Mr. Hippy Man.  I love you.