What's been going on with me? Ohhhh nothing. Just living every day with a HUMAN BEING growing inside me. It's the most outstanding, unbelievable, mind-blowing thing that has happened to me. I can't imagine anything topping this. You mean to tell me that I can actually grow a human inside my body? Absolute Madness.
Every day I'm blown away. Of course there have been many changes in my body and mood, but the positives outweigh the negatives.. that's for sure. I feel so grateful and special to have this opportunity, even tho millions of other women have experienced it. It feels special to me, and it is.
To feel him - yes him - moving around in there... haha... is beyond fascinating. I've always felt like a tomboy, but I am now experiencing the most feminine thing you can, as a woman.
Every few days I'll just smile and shake my head. I'm amazed. It ACTUALLY HAPPENED. It's ACTUALLY HAPPENING. Even tho I'm always trying to be lots more positive than negative, I was almost convinced that I wasn't able to grow a baby on my own. It was sad. It was mentally excruciating. It was downright devastating. My head wasn't right. I felt lost. I KNEW. I absolutely KNEW that it was meant to be. It was really hard hanging in there all that time, holding on to hope.
Hope is such a slippery slope. Your mind can be the biggest destroyer of hope.
I'm 6 months pregnant. A large part of me thought I would NEVER hear myself saying that. I want to thank the gods... the Universe... whoever or whatever is responsible for this insane miracle!!! My partner and I "created" this living, growing being that's currently inside me... but... did we actually CREATE it? Haha.. No. Absolutely not. I could go on and on about all the tiny pieces and parts that magically formed/are forming... but you know all about that. Not only is this amazing physical specimen being formed to function for possibly 100+ years... but it's Mind and Personality are being formed as well. He might be hilarious. He might be super quiet and tender. He might be wild and obnoxious.
And this is just part of it all. He's not even really "here" yet. He'll be an air-breathing infant... then a running toddler.. then a (hopefully not) out of control teen.. then a man. *sigh*
WOW.
