Absolute Madness

What's been going on with me?  Ohhhh nothing.  Just living every day with a HUMAN BEING growing inside me.  It's the most outstanding, unbelievable, mind-blowing thing that has happened to me.  I can't imagine anything topping this.  You mean to tell me that I can actually grow a human inside my body?  Absolute Madness. 

Every day I'm blown away.  Of course there have been many changes in my body and mood, but the positives outweigh the negatives.. that's for sure.  I feel so grateful and special to have this opportunity, even tho millions of other women have experienced it.  It feels special to me, and it is. 

To feel him - yes him - moving around in there... haha... is beyond fascinating.  I've always felt like a tomboy, but I am now experiencing the most feminine thing you can, as a woman. 

Every few days I'll just smile and shake my head.  I'm amazed.  It ACTUALLY HAPPENED.  It's ACTUALLY HAPPENING.  Even tho I'm always trying to be lots more positive than negative, I was almost convinced that I wasn't able to grow a baby on my own.  It was sad.  It was mentally excruciating.  It was downright devastating.  My head wasn't right.  I felt lost.  I KNEW.  I absolutely KNEW that it was meant to be.  It was really hard hanging in there all that time, holding on to hope. 

Hope is such a slippery slope.  Your mind can be the biggest destroyer of hope. 

I'm 6 months pregnant.  A large part of me thought I would NEVER hear myself saying that.  I want to thank the gods... the Universe... whoever or whatever is responsible for this insane miracle!!!  My partner and I "created" this living, growing being that's currently inside me... but...  did we actually CREATE it?  Haha.. No.  Absolutely not.  I could go on and on about all the tiny pieces and parts that magically formed/are forming...  but you know all about that.  Not only is this amazing physical specimen being formed to function for possibly 100+ years...  but it's Mind and Personality are being formed as well.  He might be hilarious.  He might be super quiet and tender.  He might be wild and obnoxious.   

And this is just part of it all.  He's not even really "here" yet.  He'll be an air-breathing infant... then a running toddler.. then a (hopefully not) out of control teen.. then a man.  *sigh*

WOW.

this little piggy

I hate how soggy Raisin Bran gets after a while.  It's pretty good for the first 4 minutes.  It's also pretty ridiculous that it has more sugar in it than Lucky Charms. Lucky friggin' Charms.

I just lost my train of thought.  I'll have to come back.

Okay so I'm back.

Usually I have an issue with people leaving their Christmas decorations up till... March.  But.. I found an exception today.  There is this cute little pink pig, dressed in Santa gear.. ON A ROOF.  Just chillin'..  facing the street.  There is nothing else around him.  He's been there since November probably.. and it'll be April in a week.  Haha...  I love it.  I find it funny and cute and I smile every time I see it.  I drive by it every day.  I have to admit, I'm going to be sad to see it go.

They should keep it up all year and just add shamrocks... eggs..... American flags.... pumpkins.. then it'll be ready for Kris Kringle again.

I can't say I love ALL animals.  I haven't seen Every animal on the planet.  I don't particularly care for some that I have met.  But for the most part.. animals are the greatest things on the globe.  Just as I can't imagine life w/out music....  I can't imagine it w/out animals.  Pigs are one of my favorites.  They're just cute and hilarious and I love the sounds they make.  I like the big ones.. but the little ones... oh.. they're freaking phenomenal.

Thank you for pigs.

Flies are insects but I still consider them animals.  There are humans and there are animals.  And plants.

The thought train has stopped again.  I'll just end this here.

I hope everyone reading has an enjoyable day!

 

Air Dancers

There's this Sell Your Gold For Cash store down the road....  They hired this guy to stand by the road (I'm assuming), hold their sign and wave.  That's what this guy does for a living.  Stands and waves.  I see him on my lunch break so I don't know how many hours he does this.. but it just baffles me.    How much would they pay a person to literally...  stand and wave?  Minimum wage?  If I was him.. I'd consider going across the street for employment at Giant Eagle.  He can bag groceries.  That would be like 100% more fun that standing there, facing oncoming traffic and waving.  For.. 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 possible hours. 

I know I don't know this guy's situation - AT ALL.  Perhaps he's deaf..  or a mute.  Cannot work with the public.  He might have EXTREME anxiety.  His dad or mum might own the company... and he's in so much trouble... they said they'd bail him out of jail if he would hold their silly sign for them.  He might LOVE doing it, and he does it for free.  He might be a billionaire and he's just trying to give back to society. 

DOUBT IT.


Just crazy.  They should just buy one of those air machine/gumby guy things...  it would get people's attention... and they wouldn't have to pay a human.  I am sure those things are expensive but... still.

I just looked them up.  Air Dancers.  You can get one on Amazon for $50.   

Besides, Mr. Air Dancer would be a HELL of a lot more effective than a 5 foot 10 human, putting in the bare minimum efffort on his wave.  At least put him in a clown suit.... or a big chicken costume.  Get him dancing around.. playing the trumpet.  Now we're talkin'.

So it's mid-March and one of my favorite things to do as a human is.... drive down the road, with the windows down, listening to music.  It's the warmest day of 2015 so far.. in my neck of the woods... and it's something to celebrate. 

Today is a beautiful day.

some non-crazy dreams

Here I am.  I came here with intent.

And I've got nothing.

Is it possible to get writer's block when you're not a writer? 

Well, this morning I was dreaming while my alarm was chiming away.  It often becomes incorporated into my dreams.

I've been having super duper wacky dreams lately, but this is not one of them.

I often switch back and forth between observer and character.  I am witnessing something go down between two people, then all of a sudden I AM one of the people.

That's how it was with this one.  Leo DiCaprio.  Hanging out with his latest fling / me part of the time.  They're hanging out, getting cozy, etc etc etc... then it's time - OH - he has really long head hair and beard hair.  It's time to cut off all of his hair and shave completely - for a role.  The chic starts freaking out and immediately leaves and says she is done with him.  I imagine most Hollywoodians are shallow like that.

So, then I'm in this building.. with lots going on.. lots of different levels.. rooms.. businesses.. I'm in the basement at some point and there are some super strange rituals happening that I am witnessing.  I leave and.. end up in this restaurant where I'm sitting at the table with the owner.  I have at least 7 dishes of food in front of me.. and all these waitresses keep coming up to me trying to take my dishes... when I'm clearly still working on them.  They were all getting mad and jealous that dude was talking to me.

I have others...  I for real need to get my dream journal back on my bedside table so I can write them down before I quickly forget. 

goblins?

It's weird how things happen.  And they always seem to happen like this.

I had dinner with a friend the other night.  Somehow the topic of my name came up, and how I dislike the alternative spellings people come up with for "Kelly".  Such as... Kelli.  Kellie.  However......  I DO like "Kelley".  I was telling her how cool I think the "ey" is.  We discussed the alternative spellings of her name as well.

So the next day, she is at the vet and the vet tech's name is "Kelley".  No lie.  I just think that's weird.

Just like yesterday.  I was telling my other friend that I haven't had a headache in months... since I quit caffeine.  Like 3 hours later I had a headache.  What the fuck?  Seriously.. what the fuck??

Same thing happened with my windshield.  I had a large crack in my windshield.. told my friend about it... that same day a rock cracked her windshield.

Should we NOT be talking about certain things???  Are there certain things that should not be said out loud?

It's like someone... or someTHING is listening.  Like a goblin.  Like a little, evil, short, fat, stinky goblin... sitting in the corner rubbing his hands together with a mischievious look on his face.  ("his" because... who ever envisions an evil goblin as a HER?)  He's like the Wizard of Oz witch...  I'm gonna Get You my pretty!

I'd say it's highly unlikely this is actually the case.  But still... these weird things happen. 

Murder

Two blogs in one day?   WHAT.

So I have somewhat convinced myself that one of my friends - or acquaintances - is a murderer.  Either a serial killer or...  has killed only once.

I mean.. think about it.  Would they EVER tell anyone?  No.  Even if they wanted to, they couldn't.  And... you've heard it.  The news interviews.  "I never ever saw this coming.  He was such a nice man."

RIGHT.

Manholes

I'm sure all roads are different.  Townships do things differently than other townships.  township township township township.  In the township I drive through to go to work....  there's this one stretch of road with manholes.  A lot of manholes.  I figured "manhole" would be two separate words.  Interesting.  Anyhoo- These manholes are off-center....  on the right...  so they match up perfectly with your right tire/wheel.  Really??  I get manholes.  I do.  But..  why not put them in the middle of the road?  This might make me look stupid, due to lack of knowledge of manhole policy...  but I don't care.  I'm sure if I had a tour .... and Under The Road Tour... that the light bulb would go off.  "Ohhhhh.  So THAT'S why they can't put the manholes in the middle of my lane." 

That's kind of all I have for today.  Haha. 

...There's gotta be something else.  My mental playground seems to have a dark cloud over it lately..  it's cloudy and rainy at the playground....  no sun... no light to see all the vivid colors, shapes and animals.    Creativity has been lost.  That would usually be a sign of the end.  The end for blog writing.  I'm very happy, but I lead a pretty mundane life at the moment.  Maybe cause it's Winter. 

Perhaps when Spring has sprung...  I'll get my Shine back. 

What Dreams May Come

At the end of my road I sit and wait for passing cars.  To my left I can see clearly.  To my right there is a bend.  Every time I wait to exit my road, decisions are made.

I cannot see if a car is coming to my right, so at one point I just have to decide to Go!  1 of 3 things happens.

1) No one was coming and I'm in the clear.

2)  Someone was coming and they realize I just pulled out and they back off a bit.

3)  Someone was coming and they are PISSED.

I find these series of events mirror life itself.  You must take chances in life.  You must make decisions.  Sometimes they are scary, or hard to make.  You're not quite sure what to do. When you make certain decisions, some are pleased with you, others are not.

I don't have a point, really.  It was just a thought this morning and my friend told me my blog is boring, so I thought I'd GET ON IT.

I've felt quite dull lately.  Not many colorful things come to my head.  Perhaps it's because I stopped consuming alcohol and caffeine.

One thing I HAVE had, are colorful dreams.  Colorful dreams indeed.  If I could remember all the details in every one, I'd have a SERIOUSLY interesting blog to write.  One part of one from the other night....

There was this.. container.. of miniature, baby rabbits.  Like an aquarium.. with little rocks and other things inside.  I poured all its contents into another container.. then I added milk.  Like cereal.  Then someone proclaimed "You're going to kill them!"  Oh.  Sorry, I'm dreaming.  I didn't think of that.

These baby bunnies were about the size of a pinto bean.